SPIRIT, MIND, BODY

My (d)evolution to my present stage of thinking started with a feral spirit which eventually found an intellectual affirmation that realized the physiological-kinetic, body connection. For those not acquainted to my previous life reviews, I realized that my relative, incidental insulation from group socialization and being left to my own devices from a toddler age to kindergarten gave me an inherent acuity of my physical 'integrity'. Alone in my own world, the dynamics of social interaction beyond the occasional instructions from or request to my mother were nearly non-existent. The ongoing narratives and interpretations of perceptions, rightly or wrongly, I developed with myself were my emotional world. I wasn't self-conscious about it, since there was no one I could or had to dialogue with to see the distinguishing features of my idiosyncrasies.

But when I reached kindergarten, the social (and cultural) shock interacting with this collective of relatively callous and rude persons to my person made me self-conscious for the first time in my life. My native pragmatism and curiosity for things helped me overcome and, eventually, adapt marvelously to these dog-eat-dog surroundings. I, at first, was ready to bury the ethics of my pre-kindergarten idiosyncrasies, but events created and maintained an on-going disenchantment with the status-quo and their conventions. The disenchantment was the seeding of an estrangement which sought other rhetorical paradigms. Those paradigms were few and far between in Syracuse and my junior high and high school. The scarcity of resonance or harmony with my being via the cultural and social environment further aggravated my growing intellectual restiveness with the conventions I was academically and intellectually training myself.

Just like a fiction plot, it was during one of my more despairing moments of frustration with the conventional operations I had been obliged to follow that someone came along and opened a rabbit-hole for me to investigate. That rabbit-hole was compelling because it was relevant, not abstract for some future material promise. Going from the abstract arguments for conventions that were more frustrations and disenchantments for me to the immediately fulfilling stimulative knowledge my soul had been starving, was an easy transition.

Playing catch-up for my 'Self' was intensive during my undergrad years. It gave the directive, guiding-star paradigm as a focus and course-correction through my military and civilian years. Eventually it brought me to a conviction to the creed I had been deconstructing-constructing while moving to the margins socially and culturally from my contemporaries. Giving credit to those other iconoclastic and free spirits who were oases in a dessert of social and secular conventionalism that ran across ethnic and racial lines, as much as it did economic classes, I found inspiration and affirmation in their near-maniac devotedness to their inner-muse. I may not have agreed with the expression they had chosen, but I understood their angst to have a statement in life that was unique and not a poor counterfeit of some hand-me-down, authoritative consensus.

The aesthetics of my inner muse had their intellectual and sensuous trappings. I had gone as far as I could exponentially go in the abstract to be congruent. Now, I faced the challenge of practice. By choice and by necessity I had begun to pare away my excesses of gluttony and indolence. I needed to go further. To maintain the focused intensity, I needed the ENERGY. Being more physically 'in-tune' would increase the vitality and the stamina to maintain the intense energy levels for the intellectual inspirations of the spirit.

Fatefully, my temp-work, along with a stint in a kitchen, and then doing housekeeping at a hospital required me moving around. The physical and physiological limitations, along with the benefits I experienced while moving around on my feet, convinced me that a regimen which maintained muscle tone and aerobic stimulation without the punishing joint and muscle strain was needed. Having been exposed to yoga and tai-chi, I was familiar with low-impact exercises. Having noticed the sub-par pulmonary sufficiency, I wanted to have a dimension for that in my exercises. In circuit series exercises I found the mode that gave me weight resistance for my muscles and aerobic stress for my lungs-heart. As I increase the percentage of muscle mass, as well as DECREASE, the amount of fat, I feel the energy needed for the intensive emotional focus which spawns the subconscious and conscious inspiration for the speculative, metaphysical musings.

The musings affect the degree of vitality I have, thus providing a vibratory effect for others to sense and stimulate their own affective activity in the great cosmic network web-that itself is a metamorphosis of the energy of the last Big Bang.

Guardians by destiny

Predestination?!! Either that or a cognitive, bio-chemical resonance to the effecting stimuli affects of your perceptual landscape. In that case there are multiple dimensions to which we may aggregate. Each dimension has its qualities, advantages and disadvantages. Nothing new, but the rabbit-hole of supra- or paranormal abilities is part of those multi-dimensions.

The supra or paranormal I'd characterize as the intense and coherent resonance of empowerment and vitalizing. They are the function of a lack of diversion and distraction that dissipates your attending abilities that reduces your physical and mental capabilities and limits your conceptualizing of your environment and role as anything more than a component in the present temporal, secular scheme.

Unlike the mystical and unprovable predestination scenario for your path of development, the bio-chemical affinity insinuates the possibility that the degree to which one can achieve a high degree of sustained, physical intensity, the more they are able to be sensitively aware of the subtle nuances in their environment, since they have removed a requisite degree of mechanical and emotional 'noise' from their attending cognitions. When you are no longer one manipulated like a Pavlovian rat, and no longer feel the desire or need to be stimulated in the multitude of ways made available in this culture, you are able to discriminate and choose what stimuli gives you the most meaning, due to their resonance and harmony with your experience and knowledge, the more discrete will be your cognitive receptors to give you the discerned path, which will be perceived to have been there all the time and the predestined, mystical path. When, in truth, it is you becoming ascetic and not a stimuli junkie of sensual satiation.

The Inherently Unrepressible Existence

Not that it could be different under any circumstances, since I seek to violate and penetrate physical and metaphysical boundaries.

WHAT THE DEVIL! They knew it when my incarnation was conceived. It was in the water. It may not be by intelligent design, but it was by bio-chemical inevitability. Perhaps the nurture part was I was left to my own cognitive devices, too much, as a toddler and pre-schooler. I just wasn't socialized to conform to the conventions of the surrounding culture.

By not having that socialization I wasn't group-broken trained. Good and bad for me. Bad in the short run-a lot of finessed carnality I could have learned to have. In the long-run, I didn't have the predisposition for the temporal hype and herd-think my contemporaries have had.

Most importantly, I became aware of the potential of cognitive consonance and resonance when there is a non-diverted or non-distracted focus of emotional as well as mental energies. Incidental to that I became intuitively and instinctively estranged and hostile to the conventions of the cultural and social 'traditions'.

Jean-Jacque (Rousseau) was right!! It's not just in chains, but a gauntlet of chains. From the kind of generational, old-school parents, the times of the 50's and early 60's, the schools, by their structural organization, developmentally or by institutional design, my non-cultured, unsocialized personality was structured to be in contention with the paradigms of those entities. It probably STILL is ME, but I have exponentially less guilt about being at odds and not in congruence with 'the program', than I was coming-up.

Moving away from the operational temporal and secular forms that set the psychological tone for conformity and submission to this dimension's reality, there were the events of fate which seemed to pile on to drive the point home that I was to see myself as a product of forces to which I had to adapt and accommodate myself, rather than being an idiosyncratic, ingenue of my own creation. The success stories of others were portrayed in such unique and ingenious terms, that one thought in terms of some heroic, over-achievement so to be able to match the feats of the historic icons.

In fact, events of serendipity and synchronicity, were speaking of a more natural and pedestrian path to the uniqueness of self-expression and self-realization I was seeking. All it took was an intrepid and indomitable curiosity and persistence of faith in my capability to do the things I wanted to do, rather than pursue some prescribed path set or determined by others.

It's finding that exhilarating motivation that is organic to what resonates with your empirical truths of existence that opens the broad and unmistakable path to follow in a nd as your bliss. Besides the multiple benefits, such as joy, contentment,and luck in a mystical state of grace, there are the tangential benefits that are positive affects for others as you provide a facilitation and enablement for their cognitive enhancement as well as their carnal enjoyment.

IN THE MEANTIME... temporality and secularity are the adverse bullshit to be resisted by your inspiration and opportunizing of the moments of serendipity that are the portal openings for your soul's expression to stream forth in an infectious transmission for shared resonance with other forms of your environment